Uncovering the roots: How to overcome perfectionism
This post discusses:
Three causes of perfectionism
Why this finding matters
How to overcome perfectionism
How to align your life with your values
A meta-analysis conducted by Curran and Hill (2019) found a rising number of perfectionists among young adults in three English-speaking countries, all of which value independence over collectivism (Markus and Kitayama, 1991).
They specifically found an estimated 10% increase in self-oriented perfectionism (expecting more from themselves), an estimated 32% increase in socially prescribed perfectionism (perceiving that others expect more from them), and an estimated 16% increase in other-oriented perfectionism (expecting more from other people) across multiple samples of male and female American, Canadian, and British college students between 1989 and 2016.
It’s believed that this rise in self-reported perfectionism in English-speaking countries is tied to shifts in societal and cultural norms. Understanding the causes of perfectionism can provide insight into why these patterns are emerging and how they impact young adults today.
Three major causes of perfectionism
As identified in this research, three important cultural shifts have contributed to the rise of perfectionism:
1. The Rise of Neoliberalism and Capitalism
The rise of neoliberalism and free-market capitalism, especially since the 1970s, has heavily shaped the recent shifts in cultural values in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.
From a broad perspective, neoliberalism and free-market capitalism encourage competition, greater individual responsibility, a stronger presence of monopolies, and globalization – all to increase profits.
On a more personal level, this translates into the expectation that employees must increase their productivity to generate higher profits for employers (e.g., private equity firms and big corporations). These pressures have contributed to a culture of competitive individualism, leading young adults to chase unattainable perfectionistic ideals as a way to cope (Curran & Hill, 2019).
If you’re wondering about the causes of perfectionism in your own life, consider how societal expectations and professional demands may have influenced the way you set standards for yourself.
2. The Rise of Meritocracy
The overarching message of neoliberal meritocracy is that people’s knowledge and skills must translate into profit or success—otherwise, their efforts are considered worthless. This system rewards individuals for gaining entry into selective schools, elite universities, and lucrative career paths.
As a result, students feel immense pressure to strive, compete, and meet increasingly high expectations. This is where perfectionism takes root—young people are conditioned to equate their self-worth with high achievement, leading them to relentlessly pursue unrealistic goals.
This explains why perfectionism is so deeply ingrained in modern culture. By recognizing these causes of perfectionism, you can begin to challenge the belief that your worth is tied to external achievements.
3. Changes in Parenting Practices
The rise of neoliberalism and meritocracy has also placed considerable pressure on parents to ensure their children succeed in an increasingly competitive world. This internalized anxiety has led to more controlling parenting styles, which often involve setting excessively high expectations and criticizing anything that falls short.
Children, in turn, develop their own unrealistic standards and strive for perfection—both to gain approval and to avoid criticism. Over time, these behaviors become ingrained, reinforcing perfectionistic tendencies well into adulthood.
If you were raised in an environment with high expectations, understanding the causes of perfectionism in your upbringing may help you reshape your mindset and lessen its grip on your life.
Why do these findings matter?
On a societal level, these findings are crucial because they help explain the rising rates of mental health concerns among young adults (Curran & Hill, 2019; Flett & Hewitt, 2002). In particular, socially prescribed perfectionism is especially concerning, as it has been linked to a variety of mental health disorders, including social phobia, body dissatisfaction, bulimia nervosa, suicidal ideation, anxiety, and depression.
On an individual level, recognizing the causes of perfectionism can help you better understand your own thought patterns and behaviors. If you’re struggling with perfectionistic tendencies—especially in ways that impact your mental health—it’s important to acknowledge these challenges so you can take proactive steps toward change.
How to overcome perfectionism
If you’re wondering how to overcome perfectionism, the first step is to recognize its presence in your life. Instead of criticizing yourself for these tendencies, approach them with curiosity and self-awareness. Here are some strategies to help you break free:
Cultivate awareness: Identify when and how perfectionism shows up in your thoughts and behaviors.
Challenge unrealistic expectations: Ask yourself if your standards are truly achievable or if they are rooted in external pressures.
Prioritize progress over perfection: Shift your focus from flawless outcomes to learning and growth.
Embrace flexibility: Allow yourself to adjust your goals and expectations without equating it to failure.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself when mistakes happen. Perfection isn’t a prerequisite for worthiness.
Take imperfect action: Start before you feel "ready" and recognize that progress is more valuable than perfection.
Seek support: Therapy, coaching, and self-help resources can provide valuable tools for addressing perfectionistic thinking patterns.
If you’ve been struggling with unrealistic expectations, knowing how to overcome perfectionism can be life-changing. It requires shifting your mindset, practicing self-compassion, and taking small, intentional steps toward change.
How to align your life with your values
To fully break free from perfectionism, it’s important to identify and align with your core values (Harris, 2022). Ask yourself:
What truly matters to you in life? (Refer to Harris, 2010 for a list of values.)
Do your current behaviors align with these values, or are they driven by external expectations?
What would your life look like without perfectionism dictating your decisions?
By making intentional choices that align with your values, you can move toward a more fulfilling, balanced life, one where self-worth is no longer tied to impossible standards. Learning how to overcome perfectionism means letting go of rigid expectations and embracing progress over perfection.
Final thoughts
Understanding the causes of perfectionism can shed light on why so many people struggle with it, but learning how to overcome perfectionism requires intentional effort. By practicing self-compassion, embracing imperfection, and aligning with your values, you can gradually free yourself from the unrealistic expectations that have been holding you back.
If you’ve ever asked yourself how to overcome perfectionism, know that change is possible. You don’t have to let perfectionism dictate your life—you have the power to redefine success and embrace a more fulfilling, balanced way of living.
Next steps
To help you start the process or move forward in your journey to overcome perfectionism, I provide tailored treatment for perfectionism at Chen Thrive Psychological Services. Feel free to request a free 15-minute consultation.
References
Curran, T. & Hill, A. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145 (4), 410-429. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-bul0000138.pdf
Flett, G.L. & Hewitt, P.L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In P. L. Hewitt & G. L. Flett (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 5–31). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/10458-001
Harris, R. (2022). The Happiness Trap. Shambhala Publications.
Hewitt, P. L., Flett, G. L., Turnbull-Donovan, W., & Mikail, S. F. (1991). The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale: Reliability, validity, and psychometric properties in psychiatric samples. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 3(3), 464. https://hewittlab.psych.ubc.ca/files/2014/11/MPS2.pdf
Markus, H.R. & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: implications for cognition, emotion, and motivation. Psychological Review, 98(2), 224-253. https://web.stanford.edu/~hazelm/publications/1991%20Markus%20Kitayama%20Culture%20and%20the%20self.pdf
