Overcome Perfectionism
Helping you learn to achieve goals in a way that enhances your health and wellbeing.
Place a lot of pressure on yourself to meet exceedingly high expectations in one or several areas of your life.
Avoid taking risks or trying new things.
Beat yourself up when you make mistakes, which makes it difficult for you to try new things or take risks.
Avoid feedback because you fear that it might be negative.
Struggle to release control of situations.
Have trouble making decisions for fear of making the wrong choice.
Take on too much and set unrealistic deadlines.
Procrastinate on completing important tasks and projects because you fear not doing them well enough.
Whichever way you’ve come, I’m happy you’re here. Read on to see whether the therapy I provide to overcome perfectionism might help you.
You may have landed here if you tend to . . .
You may be someone who’s focused on outcomes and driven to perform. You may also appear “well put together” and “on top of things.” But you often feel “on edge,” wired, and exhausted from “keeping it together.” What’s holding you back?
Living and working in New York City, you’re no stranger to the fast-paced lifestyle. You identify as a high achiever. At work, you get praised for your meticulousness, conscientiousness, and ability to carry out your role at a high level. You find that the more you get praised, the more you feel the need to continue to relentlessly meet the high standards you and others have set and expect, even at great personal cost.
At the same time, you may struggle with crippling self-doubt and anxiety. You may also judge yourself harshly and question your self-worth if you don’t meet the lofty goals that everyone expects.
You may also feel like a fraud, thinking that you’ll fall short of expectations if you don’t prepare and work enough. At work, you may volunteer to take on more, sign up for “just” one more training, and set unrealistic timelines to complete projects to prove that you’re not an imposter. As a result, you find yourself chronically stressed and nearing burnout from over-working and over-preparing.
If you relate to this: You need a refuge where you can recover from perfectionism, where you can explore who you are, what you care about, and what kind of life you want to lead. You want to feel seen for who you are and with your hand held gently through this process of self-discovery, especially as you experience harsh self-judgement about falling short of expectations and as you practice new strategies that can help you reach your goals without sacrificing your quality of life.
I view recovery from perfectionism as an opportunity to learn skills that can support goal achievement in a way that benefits your wellbeing.
An important first step of therapy will be to learn and practice making space to coexist with self-critical thoughts and difficult emotions.
To help you shift your relationship with perfectionism, we’ll examine the rules and expectations that you find yourself living by, identify your core values, and work on developing a growth mindset.
We’ll also work together to set realistic, sustainable goals, emphasizing process over outcome goals. As a starting point, we’ll explore the type of life that you envision for yourself and what you care most about. We’ll pinpoint baby steps that will allow you to live a life that you feel good about. As we work together, I’ll also teach you skills that will allow you to effectively recognize and respond to your pain and struggle with genuine care and kindness.
My experience with perfectionism
The challenges of the relentless drive for outcomes strike a personal chord with me. During adolescence and young adulthood, as I attended competitive schools, played sports, and worked in demanding, fast-paced jobs, I found myself running on what felt like a never-ending hamster wheel of long hours and tight deadlines. I felt overwhelmed and exhausted. I also felt caught in a cycle of trying to prove my competence and worth by setting and attempting to meet unrealistic standards.
In time, I went through a long and painful journey to the other side of perfectionism, during which I frequently questioned my self-worth, identity, and values. With hard work and with support from my network and from my therapist, I gave myself permission to find myself and what I care about, which ultimately led me to feel more grounded.
By combining my personal and clinical familiarity with perfectionism, I’m able to view your experiences more comprehensively as we work together to help you reclaim a more fulfilling life while effectively managing how you relate to perfectionism