This post discusses (1) three cultural influences found to occur at the same time as the rise in perfectionism based on recent research, (2) why this finding matters, and (3) how to address perfectionism if you struggle with it.

A meta-analysis conducted by Curran and Hill (2019) found a rising number of perfectionists among young adults in three English-speaking countries, all of which value independence over collectivism (Markus and Kitayama, 1991).

They specifically found an estimated 10% increase in self-oriented perfectionism (expecting more from themselves), an estimated 32% increase in socially prescribed perfectionism (perceiving that others expect more from them), and an estimated 16% increase in other-oriented perfectionism (expecting more from other people) across multiple samples of male and female American, Canadian, and British college students between 1989 and 2016.

It’s believed that this rise in self-reported perfectionism in English-speaking countries, all of which value independence over collectivism, is a result of changing society-level cultural norms.

As identified in this research, three important cultural shifts occurred during this time period. (These cultural shifts coincide with changes in how young adults view themselves and the development of perfectionism.):

1.     The rise of neoliberalism and capitalism

The rise of neoliberalism and free-market capitalism, especially since the 1970s, has heavily shaped the recent shifts in cultural values in the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom.

From a bird’s eye view, neoliberalism and free-market capitalism encourages competition, greater individual responsibility, a stronger presence of monopolies, and globalization – all to increase profits.

From a more personal perspective, it translates into the need for employees to increase their productivity to make more money for their employers (e.g., private equity firms and big corporations).

These changes have led to a greater emphasis on competition, individualism, and unattainable perfectionistic ideals. Curran and Hill (2019) suggest that young adults chase after unattainable perfectionistic ideals as a way to cope in a culture of competitive individualism.

2.     The rise of meritocracy

The overarching message of neoliberal meritocracy is that people’s knowledge and skills must make a profit, or else these gains are worthless. It rewards people with wealth and high status for getting into selective schools and elite universities and going into lucrative career paths.

This message places undue pressure on students to strive, compete, and meet increasingly high expectations. It’s in this space that perfectionism becomes rampant because young people are rewarded for their high achievement and relentless striving for increasingly unrealistic goals.

3.     Changes in parenting practices

The rise of neoliberalism and meritocracy placed considerable pressure on parents to ensure that their children succeed in an increasingly competitive world. Their internalized concern has led to increasingly anxious and controlling parenting behaviors, which include setting high/unrealistic expectations for their children and criticizing anything that falls short. Children then respond to their parents’ behavior by setting their own unrealistic standards and striving for perfection. They do this to prevent criticism and to gain approval of their parents – while, at the same time, trying to avoid making mistakes. 

Why do these findings matter?

On a societal level, these findings matter because they also coincide with and may partly explain the rise of mental health concerns among young adults (Curran and Hill, 2019; Flett and Hewitt, 2002). Most concerning is the rise in socially prescribed perfectionism because it’s been found to be linked to a variety of mental health disorders like social phobia, body dissatisfaction, bulimia nervosa, and suicidal ideation, in addition to anxiety and depression.

On an individual level, know that you’re not alone in struggling with perfectionism. These findings matter because Western social and cultural norms in the past 50 years have shaped the thought patterns and behaviors of young adults. If you’re currently experiencing symptoms of perfectionism and also struggling with one of the mental health disorders above, it’s helpful to be aware of how your difficulties may look like so that you can address them. If you’re currently receiving treatment, your mental health care provider should target your symptoms.

What can you do if you’re struggling with one or more forms of perfectionism?

First, try not to beat yourself up. It’s stressful enough to hold yourself or others accountable to reach for 100% all of the time, either for yourself or for important people in your life. To combat perfectionism, it first requires awareness of the symptoms you’re experiencing, what’s causing distress, and how it’s holding you back. Imagine how you’d like to feel instead of the way you are currently feeling, and what you’d like to allow yourself and/or others to do to get there.

To break out of perfectionism, get clear on your values, specifically what you want your life to be about. Questions to ask and answer for yourself include:

• What are your values? Values are defined as how you want to behave right now and on an ongoing basis toward yourself and toward others; it is not about what you want to get, have, achieve, or complete (Harris, 2022).

• What does it mean to have these values?

• What values do want to live by? What values do you actually live by? Do they match?

• What behaviors and activities do you consider to be meaningful and life-enhancing? In other words, what behaviors – even if inconvenient or outside your comfort zone – would allow you to move toward living by your values?

• What would you envision your relationships, work, and interests to look and feel like without perfectionism ruling your life?

• What behaviors and activities might or would pull you away from living by your values?

• How will you cope with the challenges that you will inevitably experience when you live by your values?

• How will you cope when your decisions/behavior is out of alignment and moving you away from living by your values?

  
  Make decisions that align with these values and lean into the challenge of acting in alignment with these values instead of avoiding in-the-moment discomfort. Practice doing, preparing, and achieving less than you think that you need; practice failing one baby step at a time. What would happen if you allowed yourself to make mistakes, fall below your own standards, and/or fail? The purpose of achieving less and failing at something is meant as an opportunity to practice getting through something difficult and re-emerging on the other side, experiencing growth and perhaps a shifting perspective about yourself and the situation to move towards a more meaningful life.

 As you move forward, exercise self-compassion and practice living in the moment. Make space for your critical self-judgments and learn to tune them out so that they don’t derail you from taking steps towards the life you envision.

Learn to, and also let yourself, set and apply more realistic goals that also incorporate how you would want to treat yourself. While it’s important to aim for a certain outcome, it’s even more important to focus on the steps that you will take to achieve it and allow the result that you aim for fade into the background. Without an emphasis on taking these steps, it’s less possible to attain the goal that you’ve set.

References

Curran, T. & Hill, A. (2019). Perfectionism is increasing over time: A meta-analysis of birth cohort differences from 1989 to 2016. Psychological Bulletin, 145 (4), 410-429. https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/bul-bul0000138.pdf

Flett, G.L. & Hewitt, P.L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In P. L. Hewitt & G. L. Flett (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 5–31). Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. http://dx.doi.org/10.1037/10458-001

Harris, R. (2022). The Happiness Trap. Shambhala Publications.

Hewitt, P. L., Flett, G. L., Turnbull-Donovan, W., & Mikail, S. F. (1991). The Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale: Reliability, validity, and psychometric properties in psychiatric samples. Psychological Assessment: A Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 3(3), 464. https://hewittlab.psych.ubc.ca/files/2014/11/MPS2.pdf

Markus, H.R. & Kitayama, S. (1991). Culture and the self: implications for cognition, emotion, and motivation. Psychological Review, 98(2), 224-253. https://web.stanford.edu/~hazelm/publications/1991%20Markus%20Kitayama%20Culture%20and%20the%20self.pdf